Too much.

Too much stuff.

Too much food, too much junk food, too much technology.

Too much family, too much sleep (maybe?), too much togetherness.

Too much lack of routine.

Whereas adults enjoy our routine and feel quite out of sorts without it, children need routine to continue to thrive, learn, and integrate their young brains.

The child’s young brain has not yet developed the coping mechanisms to override their anxiety.

For instance, as I sit here, I know that Wednesday will be the day when everything will get back to normal.  And even though I am beginning to climb the walls, I can mindfully relax myself and cope with my anxious feelings.

Young children simply cannot do this.  You cannot even teach them to do it.  It is an age and developmental (as well as temperament) issue, and you can train, rehearse, role model all you want.  This kid simply ain’t ready to cope!  The brain is ready when it is ready!

So, what can a parent do to help children ease their way back into a routine?

1)   GET YOURSELF TOGETHA

This means that, as an adult, your energy always flows down to the kids.  If you are putting together a plan for yourself, this confidence and control reads to the child as, “Mom and Dad have it together.  I am safe.”  So, some things you need to do: meal plan and grocery shop, find the backpacks and supplies, get the clothes ready that you need, discuss your week with your partner, and get the coffee maker ready.  Number one way to have a better week?  Have confidence that everything will work out and SMILE.

2)   CALL A MEETING

Just because your children have immature brains doesn’t mean that they don’t love a meeting!  Let the family know what will be happening, where they will be when, and give them some options.  Have them start menu-planning breakfast, laying out clothes, placing bags near door, etc.  Write down your meeting notes and hang them up!  This does two things:  It shows that children that the parents are in charge (and the kids like that!), and it gives some appropriate power to the children (and the kids LOVE that!)  It also helps the kids to understand that change is a’comin!

3)   EXPECT THE BEST (AND WORST), HOPE FOR THE BEST

Essentially, like many times in your parenting life, this is one of those transitions where you gotta pull up your big girl panties and know that it is going to be a bit rough.  The kids will be pissed to wake up early (me, too), and they will not want to eat that oatmeal, and they will want to go sledding instead.

So, you will set your alarm a good half hour earlier and move this mess along the best way you can.  Keep smiling, resist the urge to fall into the power struggles, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying, “Hey!  Congrats on going back to school!  As a welcome back treat, I have muffins in the car for everyone!”  And then everyone marches out.  That’s not a bribe, it’s a celebration.  Do it.

The thing is, you set the tone.  I pretty much know at least two of my kids will be crying this week, and I have already decided, “I am not going to lose my sh!t.”  Doesn’t mean I will love it; just means I am not going to get huffy and angry.  I will love them through it and may treat myself to a muffin when everyone is where they need to be!

Good luck, keep smiling, and you can do it!

If you like these tips, you should be signing up for my group coaching class, starting in February.  Click here for more info!