Q: I am really, really struggling with being a parent. I feel as if I made a horrible mistake; I just don’t know what to do with myself and the rest of my life. I have support and a great partner, but I had no idea how little patience I had and how much they would hijack my ability to be fully myself in the day-to-day.
A: Thank you for writing in. The one message I want you to take away from this column today is: You are not alone. I don’t know how far along parenthood you are, but if you are a new parent, postpartum depression (PPD) is common, and about 1 in 7 can develop PPD after birth, according to the National Institutes of Health (NIH). PPD is significantly more serious than “baby blues” or general sadness. PPD is a serious mental illness and needs to be treated thusly.
Whereas the baby blues can have you feeling anxious, moody and irritable, PPD has another set of symptoms, which, according to the NIH, include: a depressed mood that is present for most of the day, the loss of interest or pleasure for most of the day, insomnia or hypersomnia, psychomotor retardation or agitation, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, the loss of energy or fatigue, suicidal ideation or attempt and recurrent thoughts of death, impaired concentration or indecisiveness, and a change in weight or appetite.
You also need to be aware of postpartum psychosis, which, according to the Mayo Clinic, includes symptoms such as feeling confused and lost, having obsessive thoughts about your baby, hallucinating and having delusions, having sleep problems, having too much energy and feeling upset, feeling paranoid and making attempts to harm yourself or your baby.
Although rare, fathers can also experience these symptoms.
Regardless of whether you are postpartum, the things you have written are major red flags for depression. I am heartened to know you have a loving partner. Please, go to your partner and let them know how lost you feel, and ask for help in getting support. Find a therapist who specializes in […]
View this full article on The Washington Post
Looking for more parenting support? Click Here.
Sign up for my Newsletter here to get this in your inbox every week!