{"id":1229,"date":"2013-04-08T13:50:15","date_gmt":"2013-04-08T17:50:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\/?p=1229"},"modified":"2015-12-04T12:49:11","modified_gmt":"2015-12-04T17:49:11","slug":"blankies-and-binkies-are-ooookaaaaay","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/blankies-and-binkies-are-ooookaaaaay\/","title":{"rendered":"Blankies and Binkies are ooookaaaaay."},"content":{"rendered":"
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When I read the recent New York Times\u00a0article<\/a>\u00a0about children and their lovies, my very first thought was: \u201cWow, I have had my blankie since I was born.\u00a0 And some parents want their\u00a0young<\/em>\u00a0children to\u00a0quit<\/em>\u00a0their lovies?\u00a0 They would have to pry mine from my cold, dead, hands.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, yes.\u00a0 I have a blankie.\u00a0 Well, it is really a nightshirt\u2026a 25-year-old nightshirt.\u00a0\u00a0 This current \u201cblankie\u201d is the third in a line of blankies.\u00a0 It went: REAL blankie, nightshirt, nightshirt.\u00a0 No matter what went wrong (my mother taking it away and using to scrub toilets.\u00a0 Yes, still scarred) or that I gave it up to get my ears pierced (I had another blankie waiting for me in the wings), I have spent my\u00a0entire life<\/em>\u00a0with an iteration of a blankie.\u00a0\"iStockphoto\"<\/a>
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Naturally, I am\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0going to be the\u00a0parent coach<\/a>\u00a0that tells you that there is anything wrong with a child that has a lovey.\u00a0 In fact, (and science is on my side here, folks) lovies are normal, healthy, and can be anexcellent<\/em>\u00a0way for a child (or adult) to face an uncertain world.<\/p>\n

Lovies are not an indication of immaturity, a flag for self-esteem issues, nor a sign of attachment disorders.\u00a0 As the NYT article says, \u201cThe specificity of the child\u2019s preference \u2014 and affection \u2014 parallels the developing ability to feel a strong specific attachment to particular people. The transitional object is \u201ca bridge between the mother and the external world,\u201d said Alicia Lieberman, an expert in infant\u00a0mental health<\/a>\u00a0and a professor at the University of California, San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n

So strong is this \u201cbridge,\u201d that I have recommended to parents who are reuniting with their babies in foster care that they, the parents, continuously sleep with a little lovey, and keep cycling the lovey in and out with the baby.\u00a0 The smell, the feel, the look of the lovey\u2026all of these characteristics link the babies brain to \u201cMom\u201d or \u201cDad.\u201d\u00a0 It is amazing how quickly young babies can recognize and reach out for these lovies.\u00a0 It is a powerful connection for both parent and child!<\/p>\n

But<\/em>, well-meaning parents want to know,\u00a0what to do we when we feel like the lovey is holding us hostage?\u00a0 It is\u00a0dirty, the child wants to bring it into school, or the child will ignore friends to play with it?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Okay, here are some\u00a0positive parenting<\/strong>\u00a0ideas to handle the some of life\u2019s little lovey peccadilloes:<\/p>\n