{"id":1231,"date":"2013-04-08T13:51:22","date_gmt":"2013-04-08T17:51:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\/?p=1231"},"modified":"2015-12-04T12:49:11","modified_gmt":"2015-12-04T17:49:11","slug":"some-love-for-the-big-families","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/some-love-for-the-big-families\/","title":{"rendered":"Some Love for the Big Families"},"content":{"rendered":"
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As a parent coach and certified counselor, I have some family dynamics education and understanding of the highs and lows of larger families.\u00a0 But let\u2019s get real. I have ONE brother, and (while it may feel like a lot to me) three kids, so I have no idea what it is really like to grow up with many siblings, nor to parent many different children!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Like many of you, when I see a happy family of seven on the street, I try not to stare.\u00a0 I look at the mother with a mix of amazement, wonder, and disbelief.\u00a0 It\u2019s like seeing a shooting star, \u201cWait, is that\u00a0real<\/em>?\u201d\u00a0 Like shooting stars, you know large families are out there, but you cannot quite believe it when you see it.<\/p>\n

I know how hard I work with three kids, so I wonder about all the needs that exist in a large family, from the minute to the big.\u00a0 And I will admit to wondering, \u201cIs this is what that family wanted?\u00a0 Did they\u00a0choose<\/em>\u00a0that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Since my own experience cannot help me, I decided to turn to best source I have: my Meghan Leahy Facebook Page!\u00a0 I have many friends who are both one of many children, as well have many children themselves!\u00a0 They were kind enough to answer a couple of questions for me, so that we can\u00a0really<\/em>\u00a0learn what is like to be part of\u00a0a big family<\/a>!<\/p>\n

So, firstly, I wanted to learn about what it is like to be a\u00a0child<\/em>\u00a0in a big family!\u00a0 Dianne V. (one of five) says:\u00a0\u201cI loved having a variety of siblings with whom I\u2019ve been closer with during various stages of life.\u00a0<\/strong>I also liked the balance that several kids brought to the parent-child relationship: they were interested in what I did but were not watching my every move as though their own happiness and fulfillment depended on my next move.\u201d\u00a0 And Karen R. says, there was \u201calways someone to play with, if I wanted.<\/strong>\u201d\u00a0 All those needs for constant play dates?\u00a0 Not so necessary when you are one of many in your home!\u00a0 With five or six children in the house, someone is always doing something interesting.<\/p>\n

And when I asked these women if they felt they were missing something when they were growing up, like more individualized attention, the results were mixed.<\/p>\n

Dianne V says, \u201cI didn\u2019t feel like things were overlooked<\/strong>\u00a0for us as I was growing up. I could tell my parents were always trying to meet our various needs, even if it wasn\u2019t always perfect,\u201d while Karen R. says that some \u201cindividual alone time\u201d\u00a0was<\/em>\u00a0missed.<\/p>\n

The parent who has four or more kids\u00a0definitely\u00a0<\/strong>said that one of the biggest challenges for big families?\u00a0TIME.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Dianne V. says \u201cSome of the biggest challenges of having a larger family are figuring out how to \u2018get it all done,\u2019 how to still find time for your marriage and yourself\u201d and Patricia R. says, \u201cCoordination of activities and interests, as well as the volume of things to do.\u201d\u00a0 One or two adults for four, five, or six kids?<\/p>\n

And with that many human bodies in one place, the amount of\u00a0stuff\u00a0<\/em>can take a toll on even the most organized mom!\u00a0 Amy D. says there is \u201cthe constant chaos.\u00a0The house is always messy and someone is always crying<\/strong>.\u201d\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even ask about food, but imagine that shopping with these parents would be a true lesson in organization.\u00a0 The only true option?\u00a0 Letting some things go, which Amy D. admits she is working on that, every day.<\/p>\n

Beyond the worries about time for self, time for marriage, and some worries about seeing each child for who he or she is (which I think\u00a0most<\/em>\u00a0parents worry about those issues), the overwhelming message I received was just how much these parents\u00a0loved<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0their big families!<\/p>\n

Dianne V. says, \u201cWhat makes me happiest about being a parent of 4 children is helping them cultivate loving relationships with each other and seeing the moments where this love shines through between the siblings.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love being able to see them grow into individuals<\/strong>. They are so different from each other and so great in their own ways,\u201d states Cara B.<\/p>\n

Karen B. says, \u201cThe love!! It multiplies exponentially.\u201d<\/p>\n

And Amy D. says her family is so close that \u201cwe function as a unit. What I mean by that is that when one child is gone the rest are out of sorts.\u201d<\/p>\n

And all that staring I do when I see a big family?\u00a0 Well, big families would like you to know that they are quite happy with their decisions, thankyouverymuch.<\/p>\n

Dianne V. says she sometimes feels she has to \u201capologize for the existence of her kids,\u201d and \u201cthat they\u2019re not mistakes, just four awesome kids with their own personalities that make getting up in the morning one of the best feelings on earth (next to sleep itself).\u201d<\/p>\n

Cara B. also sometimes feels judged.\u00a0 \u201cI feel self-conscious about how many kids I have in my 1-2 kid household town. I get a lot of comments that are something along the lines of how \u2018full my hands are,\u2019 and it feels more critical than supportive.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, what did I learn here?\u00a0 First of all, I am going to stop staring!\u00a0\u00a0 Secondly, while parents of many children may worry about making it all work, most kids of large families report feeling loved, taken care of, and truly enjoying having so many different relationships at their disposal!\u00a0 So, three cheers for big families!\u00a0 Nope, let\u2019s make that “SIX” cheers for big families!<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a parent coach and certified counselor, I have some family dynamics education and understanding of the highs and lows of larger families.\u00a0 But let\u2019s get real. I have ONE brother, and (while it may feel like a lot to me) three kids, so I have no idea what it is really like to grow up with many siblings, nor […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1231","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nSome Love for the Big Families - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/some-love-for-the-big-families\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Some Love for the Big Families - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As a parent coach and certified counselor, I have some family dynamics education and understanding of the highs and lows of larger families.\u00a0 But let\u2019s get real. 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