{"id":1256,"date":"2013-12-08T14:07:28","date_gmt":"2013-12-08T19:07:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\/?p=1256"},"modified":"2015-12-04T12:48:52","modified_gmt":"2015-12-04T17:48:52","slug":"strategies-to-stop-screaming-at-the-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/strategies-to-stop-screaming-at-the-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Strategies to Stop Screaming at the Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
I know, I know.\u00a0 If you are a parent; you yell.\u00a0 Maybe you yell 10 times a week, maybe you scream 10 times a day, but you yell.\u00a0 The kids don’t listen. You remind, you cajole, you nag, you bribe, you get fed up…you explode.\u00a0 Everyone, even the most amazingly relaxed people on earth, have a limit. It is human to experience to anger and react to it.\u00a0 Sometimes, it is even appropriate.\u00a0 Yet, we all know that yelling andscreaming at our kids<\/a>\u00a0leaves us feeling worse about ourselves, guilty, angrier, and frankly, worn down.\u00a0 Most importantly, yelling doesn’t change misbehaviors!<\/p>\n

\"Mom-frustrated-yell\"<\/a><\/p>\n

So, what are the tips I have for the yelling?\u00a0 Here’s why we yell and what to do about it:<\/p>\n

1) \u00a0You are yelling because you are tired.\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0You have a new baby in the house and an active three-year-old, and sleep is hard to come by.\u00a0 Or maybe there is a transition with a new job, an illness, a divorce, or simply your sleep is off from everyday stress.\u00a0 You are feeling wild with exhaustion, and your ability to cope is greatly compromised.\u00a0 I cannot explain how important sleep is, and long term lack of sleep leads to more and more impatience and yelling.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

What can you do?\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0Reassess your own routine and make sleep a priority. Avoid caffeine after noon, and don’t turn on the TV or other tech devices at night. \u00a0Stop eating once you have had dinner, and have a cup of milk or decaf tea. \u00a0A warm bath can also help! \u00a0Some people need to hire more help or call in family so that they can sleep…do what you need to do to get the rest you need!<\/p>\n

2) \u00a0You are yelling because your routine is not working for the family.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>When we are rushed, stressed, or feeling late, stress and impatience are at an all-time high.\u00a0 It becomes easier to view children’s\u00a0normal<\/em>behaviors as threatening challenges, and it starts to feel as though everyone in the family is actively working against you.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

What can you do?\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Pay attention to the yelling and when you are becoming most angry.\u00a0 Is it in the morning?\u00a0 Does the alarm need to be set earlier?\u00a0 What can you prepare the night before?\u00a0 Pay attention to the basic routines in the family and make sure they are running as smoothly as they can (considering they will never be perfect!)<\/p>\n

3) \u00a0You are yelling because you are trying to control your child too much.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>As your child grows, she wants and needs more choices, more responsibility, and more power.\u00a0 It is easy to fall into a habit where you keep treating her as though she is younger; this is a normal parenting mistake.\u00a0 But it can often result in “you cannot make me do that, I am the boss of myself!” and other behaviors that feel quite defiant. Sometimes, though, when we control our children too much, they can move in the opposite direction and become passive-aggressive.\u00a0 Instead of fighting back, your child is constantly “disappearing” when something needs to get done or they are suddenly useless.\u00a0 This is the child you nag, cajole, threaten, beg, and eventually yell at, to get him to do something.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

What can you do?\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Your children need real jobs.\u00a0 Real work.\u00a0 True responsibility.\u00a0 As young as two, children can be trained to do a whole host of jobs and become valuable individuals in the family!\u00a0 Rather than trying to change (and scream at) your kids, move in the direction of asking yourself: “what job do I need to teach my child so that he can do more for himself?” With patience and training, you can stop controlling\u00a0 your child and start supporting their independence.<\/p>\n

4) \u00a0You are yelling because you are not taking care of yourself or you are feeling unfulfilled.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>You used to wear good-looking clothes and were respected in the workplace, now you have worn the same yoga pants for five days straight, and “Goodnight Moon” may have too many words for you.\u00a0 You loved your career and felt passionate about your work, now you make grocery lists during meetings and rush to buy diapers on your lunch hour.\u00a0 You feel constantly rushed or incredibly bored.\u00a0 You look like a person you don’t know anymore, and your feel like your body has betrayed you.\u00a0 You don’t see friends enough and don’t have date nights with your partner.\u00a0 You eat left-over food off of plates and don’t exercise.\u00a0 In short, you really are not taking care of yourself.\u00a0 And when you don’t pay attention to your own needs, it is easy for resentment to take root and grow like a weed.\u00a0 Naturally, it is not the fault of your children that you are depressed and angry, but they get the brunt of the frustration and anger.\u00a0 It is easy to snap, yell, and belittle when we are feeling badly about ourselves. \u00a0And let’s face it, our kids will always forgive us!\u00a0 It can quickly become a bad habit.<\/p>\n

What can you do?\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>You have to find a way to start taking care of yourself, from the big things to the little.\u00a0 From possibly leaving a job you hate to going back to work because your bored; from starting to eat well and exercise to joining a mother’s group; from committing to seeing your partner and friends more to going back to school…there are so many ways to start taking care of yourself.\u00a0 And when you are more hopeful, more optimistic, and more\u00a0yourself,\u00a0<\/em>you are less likely to lose your patience and yell.\u00a0 Content people yell less.\u00a0 Parents who pay attention to their own needs are simply kinder to their children.\u00a0 So, from the tiny changes to the big ones, take stock (and responsibility) of your life and make the changes you need!\u00a0 Your whole family will change.<\/p>\n

Finally, for whatever you reason you think you are yelling too much at the kids, try to remember that yelling is often the symptom, not the cause of your problems.\u00a0 Try to ask yourself: “why am I yelling?” and start there!<\/p>\n

 <\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I know, I know.\u00a0 If you are a parent; you yell.\u00a0 Maybe you yell 10 times a week, maybe you scream 10 times a day, but you yell.\u00a0 The kids don’t listen. You remind, you cajole, you nag, you bribe, you get fed up…you explode.\u00a0 Everyone, even the most amazingly relaxed people on earth, have a limit. It is human […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nStrategies to Stop Screaming at the Kids - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/strategies-to-stop-screaming-at-the-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Strategies to Stop Screaming at the Kids - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I know, I know.\u00a0 If you are a parent; you yell.\u00a0 Maybe you yell 10 times a week, maybe you scream 10 times a day, but you yell.\u00a0 The kids don’t listen. 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