{"id":1265,"date":"2013-07-08T14:14:27","date_gmt":"2013-07-08T18:14:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\/?p=1265"},"modified":"2015-12-04T12:48:53","modified_gmt":"2015-12-04T17:48:53","slug":"talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/","title":{"rendered":"Talking to your Children about S-E-X"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\"Mother-daughter-talk-sm\"<\/a>Is there anything that makes parents feel more uncomfortable than having to talk to their young children about\u00a0it<\/em>? You know,\u00a0S-E-X<\/strong>?<\/p>\n

The mere mention of the word makes even the most outspoken of people blush and change the subject, and it isn\u2019t really surprising. We live in a culture where we are debating how and if women should have access to birth control, yet the American porn industry is a multi-million dollar business. We are confused about how to talk to our kids about sex because, in large part,\u00a0we<\/em>\u00a0are confused about sex.<\/p>\n

So, let\u2019s not pass that confusion to our children. “Fine,” you say,”but how?” I am a big believer in common sense, so let\u2019s start there.<\/p>\n

Talking about your reproductive body parts isnot<\/em>\u00a0the same as talking about sexuality.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Would you think twice before talking to your four-year-old child about how his heart works? What about lungs? Fingers? Of course not. Well, a uterus, a penis and a vagina are also just that: body parts. They have specific and important roles in the body, and they aren\u2019t\u00a0all<\/em>\u00a0sexual. You need a penis and a vagina to urinate! When we talk about body parts with our children, try to think of it as a biology lesson: body parts and their functions.<\/p>\n

Children are born as sexual creatures.<\/strong>\u00a0As soon as a child realizes their hands are attached to their arms and that they can control those hands, they start to touch everything, including their genitals. Many a parent will share stories of little baby erections, and how, as they watched in horror and amusement, the boy seemed to be quite pleased with it. Little girls and boys can start to masturbate as young as two and well, let\u2019s face it…that never really stops, does it? \u00a0For young children, masturbation most often occurs unconsciously, as well as when they are relaxed and happy. Some children also use it as a coping mechanism for when stress sets in. This is all normal and healthy. Yes, you can teach them that there are appropriate times and places for touching (their rooms), but a gentle distraction is the best way to handle a child who is masturbating.\u00a0 \u201cWho wants to play Zingo?\u201d or \u201cTime for a bike ride!\u201d\u00a0 You get the idea.<\/p>\n

Talking to your kids about their bodies and sexuality can help prevent sexual abuse.\u00a0<\/strong>A child is most likely be sexually abused by someone they know (a coach, a teacher, a person in your religious community, a family member, a friend, a neighbor). Adults who sexually abuse kids are counting on that child to not understand his or her own body. If a child is confident and knowledgeable about private parts, they stand a greater chance of knowing that\u00a0\u201cno one is allowed to touch me, except me.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>And this is not a one-time message! You have to remind your child, as they grow, develop and change that his\/her body belongs\u00a0only<\/strong>to him or her and no one else. Talking to your children about their bodies (frankly and often) is an important tool to help protect them from predators!<\/p>\n

\"Father-son-talk\"<\/a><\/p>\n

When you start a dialogue about sexuality and their bodies with your young children, you create a trusting, open and honest relationship for down the road\u2026when it\u00a0really\u00a0<\/em>matters.\u00a0<\/strong>Maybe you have a strong outlook on issues of teen sex, or maybe you aren\u2019t sure how you feel about it. In any case, if you don\u2019t speak to your children about\u00a0your\u00a0<\/em>values, they are going to turn to their peers and the larger culture for how to feel about their bodies and what to do about sex. And as I\u2019ve mentioned, that can be some pretty tough terrain for your child to navigate alone. Do you really want all sexual information to come from a sex-ed class in school and their peers? Your children may understand how sex works (or how to stop it, so to speak), but will they understand your family values? Study after study shows that these conversationsmatter<\/em>. So, start it\u00a0young.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Become a source of reliable, measured and caring information! Let your children know that you will always answer their questions. Let them know you will not judge them if they are worried about something. Your child will have missteps and worries, broken hearts and their own sexual discoveries, but your values and how your family discusses sex becomes the template that lasts for years to come. Silence and embarrassment are not values, so start now, and start young!<\/p>\n

The good news? There are many resources and guides to help you in these conversations, so don\u2019t go it alone! For reference books, I recommend\u00a0Sex and Sensibility\u00a0<\/em>by Deborah Roffman,\u00a0Everything you Never wanted your kids to know about sex (but were afraid they\u2019d ask)\u00a0<\/em>by Richardson and Schuster. Books you can share with the kids:\u00a0\u00a0What\u2019s the Big Secret<\/em>\u00a0by Brown and Brown, and\u00a0It\u2019s NOT the Stork<\/em>\u00a0by Harris and Emberley.<\/p>\n

And if you ever feel as though your child is not in a “normal” realm of sexuality, please speak to your pediatrican. There are many resources, therapists and doctors who can help!\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Photo Sources: Thinkstock<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Is there anything that makes parents feel more uncomfortable than having to talk to their young children about\u00a0it? You know,\u00a0S-E-X? The mere mention of the word makes even the most outspoken of people blush and change the subject, and it isn\u2019t really surprising. We live in a culture where we are debating how and if women should have access to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nTalking to your Children about S-E-X - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Talking to your Children about S-E-X - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Is there anything that makes parents feel more uncomfortable than having to talk to their young children about\u00a0it? You know,\u00a0S-E-X? The mere mention of the word makes even the most outspoken of people blush and change the subject, and it isn\u2019t really surprising. We live in a culture where we are debating how and if women should have access to [...]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-07-08T18:14:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-12-04T17:48:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blogs.discovery.com\/.a\/6a00d8341bf67c53ef01630512e237970d-320wi\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/\",\"name\":\"Talking to your Children about S-E-X - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2013-07-08T18:14:27+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-12-04T17:48:53+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/74ff7f6e6196b92bb9881fbaff25225d\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Talking to your Children about S-E-X\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/\",\"name\":\"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\",\"description\":\"Helping parents. Plain and simple.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/74ff7f6e6196b92bb9881fbaff25225d\",\"name\":\"Meghan Leahy\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4109b08a6ecac6d5c68c5d4a8c8372dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4109b08a6ecac6d5c68c5d4a8c8372dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Meghan Leahy\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Talking to your Children about S-E-X - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Talking to your Children about S-E-X - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","og_description":"Is there anything that makes parents feel more uncomfortable than having to talk to their young children about\u00a0it? You know,\u00a0S-E-X? The mere mention of the word makes even the most outspoken of people blush and change the subject, and it isn\u2019t really surprising. We live in a culture where we are debating how and if women should have access to [...]","og_url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/","og_site_name":"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","article_published_time":"2013-07-08T18:14:27+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-12-04T17:48:53+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blogs.discovery.com\/.a\/6a00d8341bf67c53ef01630512e237970d-320wi"}],"author":"Meghan Leahy","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Meghan Leahy","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/","url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/","name":"Talking to your Children about S-E-X - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website"},"datePublished":"2013-07-08T18:14:27+00:00","dateModified":"2015-12-04T17:48:53+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/74ff7f6e6196b92bb9881fbaff25225d"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/talking-to-your-children-about-s-e-x\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Talking to your Children about S-E-X"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/","name":"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","description":"Helping parents. Plain and simple.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/74ff7f6e6196b92bb9881fbaff25225d","name":"Meghan Leahy","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4109b08a6ecac6d5c68c5d4a8c8372dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4109b08a6ecac6d5c68c5d4a8c8372dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Meghan Leahy"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1265"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1265"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1265\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1268,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1265\/revisions\/1268"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}