{"id":1331,"date":"2014-04-12T13:17:48","date_gmt":"2014-04-12T17:17:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\/?p=1331"},"modified":"2015-12-04T12:48:24","modified_gmt":"2015-12-04T17:48:24","slug":"1331","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/1331\/","title":{"rendered":"An Interview with an Autism Expert, Advocate and GREAT Mother!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
April is Autism Awareness Month and I felt it would be best to feature a parent who\u00a0truly<\/em>\u00a0knows what is like to mother a child with autism.<\/strong><\/p>\n

E.V. Downey is friend and former colleague from my teaching days. \u00a0I consider her to be an Autism expert and advocate, as well as all-around great mother. \u00a0I was so pleased and grateful she agreed to this interview!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

When did you realize that your son had autism?\u00a0 What were the behaviors that compelled you to seek out support?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

As is the case with many kids with Asperger\u2019s, our son initially presented as a typically developing child. In fact, we first saw signs that he was extremely bright by about 18 months, he knew all his letters at 21 months, and was teaching himself to read at age 2. In hindsight we realize that these are signs of hyperlexia, an early indication of Asperger\u2019s. By age 3, he was emerging as a child with an incredible ability to learn and retain information, plus he was adorable, relatively easy-going (always intense, but not unpleasant) little guy. We started to realize that there was something \u201cwrong\u201d after he started school at age 3 \u00bd. It was actually around age 4 when he started reacting poorly to the other kids around him at preschool. He was bothered by the noise, wouldn\u2019t play on the playground, had problems with certain activities. He was also extremely late in potty training (another common trend with Aspies), resistant to costumes, new clothes, had poor gross motor skills. We started with his pediatrician and progressed quickly to an Occupational Therapist who diagnosed him with Sensory Integration Disorder and a Physical Therapist who diagnosed him with hypotonia (low muscle tone) and delayed gross motor skills. He did both OT and PT for approximately 1 year. He has been in one therapy or another (or several) for the 7 years since then.<\/p>\n

What has surprised you about parenting a child who has autism?<\/strong><\/p>\n

The biggest surprises are how incredibly good I can be at parenting sometimes and how incredibly bad at it I feel at other times. The other surprise is how judgmental other parents are despite my efforts. I have lost from friends due to this.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

What is the hardest part, in terms of parenting, of having a child who has autism?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The hardest part is that my autistic child is so delayed in gaining independence from us as his parents. The other hardest part is the impact on my daughter. No matter how much we do for her, and it\u2019s a lot, she feels like she\u2019s not as important as her brother because he gets so much attention. She\u2019s jealous of his therapies (because I take him to them without her) and the attention he demands from others and us.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

What has been your experience re: getting your son the resources he needs in school?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Ah, I could write a book on that topic alone! It has been an absolutely constant struggle for every day that he has been in school to get him the resources he needs. Asperger\u2019s poses a particular challenge in school because Aspies are often (as our son is) quite bright and advanced academically. It is hard for schools to understand that, despite their academic abilities, Aspies need A LOT of support at school. I will leave it at that.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What is like to parent a child who has autism and a child who is neuro-typical child?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>I hate to say it, but our neuro-typical child is just SO much easier. There I said it. Our daughter makes us realize what it would be like to have a \u201cnormal\u201d child and, at the risk of angering every parent of a neuro-typical child out there, it\u2019s just SO much easier. There, I said it again. Our son is just so much MORE.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How has parenting your son changed you?\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

How hasn\u2019t it changed me?!? There\u2019s really no way to answer that. It has made me a better person, a more patient person, an exhausted person, a poorer person. In has made me somewhat of an activist. It has made me a whole lot more compassionate and a whole lot less tolerant of intolerance.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Which aspects of your son\u2019s character do you cherish?\u00a0 What have been your parenting triumphs?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>My son is so incredibly bright, it is actually frightening sometimes. His brain truly operates on a way that other brains do not (certainly not my own). Because this is common with Aspies, I can only assume that it is a part of the Asperger\u2019s. He has shown evidence of this intelligence since he was not even yet walking. He is an amazingly loving child and extremely dedicated to his family and friends. He is, usually, a genuinely delightful person with whom to spend time.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What do wish parents of neuro-typical children knew about your parenting life?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I wish they would understand that, just as they make mistakes, so do we. It is so hard to parent any child, let alone one with needs. We try to do all we can and be at the top of our game at all times, but sometimes we just can\u2019t accomplish what we should. Please don\u2019t judge us!<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

What have seen change over the years, re: resources and support for parents of children with autism?\u00a0 What do you see as the glaring need, right now?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Public school programs for children on the spectrum are, generally, absolutely inadequate to meet the needs of our children. In order to, supposedly, save a small amount of money and a lot of face, the system is determined to attempt to educate our children, despite multiple failures. There are many excellent people in the system, especially the teachers, but there are so many prohibiting factors that so many of us are desperate to receive a Free and Appropriate Public Education or, really, an education, for our children. This is especially true for kids such as our son who can achieve academically but needs the right atmosphere and support in order to do so.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Downey School Consulting<\/strong> provides services to families to help them navigate the educational system in the Washington metropolitan area. Families can come to a group lecture and\/or have a private consult or a series of consults to learn about and apply to public, charter, and private schools that are appropriate for their child\/ren. For children with special needs, services can include advising on testing, reading results from tests, evaluating IEP’s, and selecting an appropriate school for the child.\u00a0https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/DowneySchoolConsulting<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

April is Autism Awareness Month and I felt it would be best to feature a parent who\u00a0truly\u00a0knows what is like to mother a child with autism. E.V. Downey is friend and former colleague from my teaching days. \u00a0I consider her to be an Autism expert and advocate, as well as all-around great mother. \u00a0I was so pleased and grateful she […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nAn Interview with an Autism Expert, Advocate and GREAT Mother! - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/1331\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"An Interview with an Autism Expert, Advocate and GREAT Mother! - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"April is Autism Awareness Month and I felt it would be best to feature a parent who\u00a0truly\u00a0knows what is like to mother a child with autism. 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