{"id":188,"date":"2011-06-22T16:59:04","date_gmt":"2011-06-22T20:59:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\/?p=188"},"modified":"2015-12-03T08:42:57","modified_gmt":"2015-12-03T13:42:57","slug":"what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/","title":{"rendered":"What Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline IS NOT…"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Some questions I hear about positive discipline and parenting:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThe parents are not in charge.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThere is no punishment, how are kids supposed to learn anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So, let\u2019s dispel some of the rumors.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Discipline means “to teach,” so positive discipline focuses on using techniques that help teach the child how to behave in a way that is age and developmentally appropriate, as well as behaving positively.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What positive parenting is NOT:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

1). Being a PUSHOVER.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Discipline, for me, is very important, and discipline means to teach.\u00a0 So, what does teaching look like in positive parenting?\u00a0 It means creating only of couple of rules and keeping them.\u00a0 It means allowing your child to experience real consequences without saving, lecturing, or punishing.\u00a0 For instance, if your second grader is supposed to make her own lunch for school and she keeps “forgetting”, she should go to school without lunch and deal with it.\u00a0 You don’t make it for her, and you don’t bring it to her.\u00a0 There is no lecture…dinner is the next meal.\u00a0 This consequence tells the child \u201cMommy and Daddy mean what they say.\u201d\u00a0 This is a message you want to instill now<\/em>, not when they are 16 and running out of the house.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2)\u00a0 Thinking your child is the BEST and telling them over and over.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Positive parenting is NOT cheerleading.\u00a0 Do we all love, and often, adore our children?\u00a0 Of course.\u00a0 But positive parenting is not praise.\u00a0 Praise is often high-pitched, vague, and outcome-based.\u00a0 It sounds like “You are the BEST at brushing your teeth, wow!!!” or “Mommy loves this drawing!!!” or “I have never seen a better pitch in my whole life!!!”\u00a0 Positive discipline uses encouragement to communicate.\u00a0 Encouragement is specific, low-key, and most importantly, process-based.\u00a0 “I see your drawing has four circles; red, yellow, blue, and green.\u00a0 Tell me more about your picture…” or “Your piano recital really showed all of your hard work.\u00a0 I saw you practice, everyday!\u00a0 How do you feel about it?” and “Sharing your fire engine with your baby sister shows how much you are growing, thank you.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3). Is not something that JUST works with little kids.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Courage, sensitivity, compassion, and respect are core values that carry us through the rest of our lives, in all of our relationships.\u00a0 When potty-training, sleep training, morning routines, shoelace tying, meal-helping, and every other little tool and technique has faded away with the years, we are only left with our parental integrity and love.\u00a0 Our young adult children will not need as many of these techniques, but the core values underpinning them will remain and will continue to guide them into the adult world.\u00a0 Helping others, staying true to their convictions, and living courageously are traits that are fostered through routines, boundaries, and encouragement…so start them now!<\/p>\n

 <\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Some questions I hear about positive discipline and parenting:   \u201cThe parents are not in charge.\u201d \u201cThere is no punishment, how are kids supposed to learn anything?\u201d   So, let\u2019s dispel some of the rumors.   Discipline means “to teach,” so positive discipline focuses on using techniques that help teach the child how to behave in a way that is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[59,439],"class_list":["post-188","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-routines","tag-chores-2","tag-parent-coaching"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline IS NOT... - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline IS NOT... - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Some questions I hear about positive discipline and parenting:   \u201cThe parents are not in charge.\u201d \u201cThere is no punishment, how are kids supposed to learn anything?\u201d   So, let\u2019s dispel some of the rumors.   Discipline means “to teach,” so positive discipline focuses on using techniques that help teach the child how to behave in a way that is [...]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-06-22T20:59:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-12-03T13:42:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/\",\"name\":\"What Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline IS NOT... - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-06-22T20:59:04+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-12-03T13:42:57+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/e4e0d31e5da894d0dcd2c68ae07bcdc3\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"What Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline IS NOT…\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/\",\"name\":\"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\",\"description\":\"Helping parents. Plain and simple.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/e4e0d31e5da894d0dcd2c68ae07bcdc3\",\"name\":\"Meghan Leahy\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/343fdaa7c59ef09d3d3f38b23fefc346?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/343fdaa7c59ef09d3d3f38b23fefc346?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Meghan Leahy\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline IS NOT... - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline IS NOT... - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","og_description":"Some questions I hear about positive discipline and parenting:   \u201cThe parents are not in charge.\u201d \u201cThere is no punishment, how are kids supposed to learn anything?\u201d   So, let\u2019s dispel some of the rumors.   Discipline means “to teach,” so positive discipline focuses on using techniques that help teach the child how to behave in a way that is [...]","og_url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/","og_site_name":"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","article_published_time":"2011-06-22T20:59:04+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-12-03T13:42:57+00:00","author":"Meghan Leahy","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Meghan Leahy","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/","url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/","name":"What Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline IS NOT... - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website"},"datePublished":"2011-06-22T20:59:04+00:00","dateModified":"2015-12-03T13:42:57+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/e4e0d31e5da894d0dcd2c68ae07bcdc3"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/routines\/what-positive-parenting-and-positive-discipline-is-not\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline IS NOT…"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/","name":"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","description":"Helping parents. Plain and simple.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/e4e0d31e5da894d0dcd2c68ae07bcdc3","name":"Meghan Leahy","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/343fdaa7c59ef09d3d3f38b23fefc346?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/343fdaa7c59ef09d3d3f38b23fefc346?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Meghan Leahy"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=188"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":514,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/188\/revisions\/514"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=188"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=188"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=188"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}