{"id":2174,"date":"2015-08-31T12:20:23","date_gmt":"2015-08-31T16:20:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\/?p=2174"},"modified":"2015-12-04T12:48:02","modified_gmt":"2015-12-04T17:48:02","slug":"work-in-progress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/work-in-progress\/","title":{"rendered":"Work In Progress"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

I am a work in progress.<\/h3>\n

Aren’t you?<\/h3>\n

You aren’t finished growing, are you?<\/h3>\n

No. And if you think you are, then you’ve really<\/strong> got a long way to go. \ud83d\ude09<\/h3>\n

BUT.<\/h3>\n

You have *hopefully* gained some experience and wisdom. You have been (and still are) maturing all these years.<\/h3>\n

Your young children are just at the beginning.<\/h3>\n

They have only just started down the path.<\/h3>\n

Thoughtful, sensitive, rambunctious, hungry, tired, amazed, overwhelmed, cuddly, scared, excited, ready, not ready.<\/h3>\n

Our children are a developmental jumble of emotions and impulses, and none of them are by accident.<\/h3>\n

NOT ONE SINGLE EMOTION OR IMPULSE IS A MISTAKE<\/strong>.<\/h3>\n

Each impulse or emotion pushes them forward or pulls them backward.<\/h3>\n

The brain is ever-evolving to keep them safe and help them emerge.<\/h3>\n

Silliness is seen as misbehavior, but it is often a defense against vulnerability in children.<\/h3>\n

I know it is in me.<\/h3>\n

Aggression is seen as misbehavior, but it is often an explosion of frustration. Frustration is a necessary and primary emotion that does everything from keeping us safe to helping us adapt and mature. Frustration must move out of the body, hence hitting, biting, etc.<\/h3>\n

I know this is true for me.<\/h3>\n

“Spacing out” is seen as manipulative and purposeful, but it a defense against overwhelm. It is the brain saying, “That’s it. I cannot take in any more sensory information. Shut ‘er down.”<\/h3>\n

None of these emotions or behaviors are “wrong.” They are not mental disorders nor are they something to be “fixed,” per se.<\/h3>\n

They are to be understood. Clearly seen. Accommodated.<\/h3>\n

And when accommodation cannot be had, room is provided to allow the child to cry. Feel. Express. Move.<\/h3>\n

Labeling normal maturation processes as “misbehavior” is at the heart of many struggles we have with our children.<\/h3>\n

Personalizing children’s emotions and growth as misbehavior is at the heart of our parenting pain and suffering.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

As parents, we guide children and yes! we correct them. But it is in a spirit of support, safety, and guidance…not control, anger, and rigidity that we find our parenting sweet spot.<\/h3>\n

To hold the boundaries…lovingly and firmly.<\/h3>\n

To keep them safe…unquestioningly and endlessly<\/h3>\n

To provide independence…judiciously and confidently<\/h3>\n

To tell them the truth…honestly and prudently<\/h3>\n

To show them the way…gracefully and thoughtfully<\/h3>\n

To get out of the way…intentionally and respectfully<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am a work in progress. Aren’t you? You aren’t finished growing, are you? No. And if you think you are, then you’ve really got a long way to go. \ud83d\ude09 BUT. You have *hopefully* gained some experience and wisdom. You have been (and still are) maturing all these years. Your young children are just at the beginning. They have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":2385,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[270,274,275,276,277,8,144],"class_list":["post-2174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","tag-children","tag-growth","tag-maturation","tag-maturity","tag-misbehavior","tag-parenting","tag-parents"],"yoast_head":"\nWork In Progress - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/work-in-progress\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Work In Progress - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am a work in progress. 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