{"id":233,"date":"2011-09-09T14:52:53","date_gmt":"2011-09-09T18:52:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\/?p=233"},"modified":"2015-12-04T12:52:19","modified_gmt":"2015-12-04T17:52:19","slug":"remembering-september-11-as-a-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Remembering September 11…as a family."},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
The 10th anniversary of 9\/11 is in two days.\u00a0 Any adult living in the U.S. knows where they were and what they were doing ten years ago; the fear, shock and sorrow is seared into our collective memory.\u00a0 Some of us were living in places directly attacked; some of us were watching TV in horror.\u00a0 Some of us lost people we loved in one swift moment, and we all lost a certain level of innocence and security that day.<\/p>\n

And now many of us have children. \u00a0Already, and seemingly impossibly, time has moved forward and our children are looking at 9\/11 in the rearview window. \u00a0It is a chapter in their history books, a moment of silence in schools, and lessons in compassion for Islamic Americans. \u00a0It is not real for our children. \u00a0My kids have always had terror evacuation plans in school and taken their shoes off to fly. \u00a0My kids have always seen bomb-sniffing dogs at the Metro and seen the men with big guns at the Monuments. \u00a0It is me who balks at all of this and will always remember the moment it all changed.<\/p>\n

How you handle this historical event with your children is very personal.\u00a0 Some of us are not ready to talk about it, and don’t have the words.\u00a0 Some of us have children who simply ask and ask and ask questions.\u00a0 Some of us have kids who happen to see horrible images (buildings falling) and hear sad stories (survivor stories on the news), and force us into awkward conversations.\u00a0 Some of us want to commemorate this anniversary, but worry about worrying the kids.\u00a0 When is the right time?\u00a0 What is the right amount of information?<\/p>\n

I have a couple of thoughts.<\/p>\n

Little kids have a very small world.\u00a0 Parents.\u00a0 Siblings.\u00a0 Friends.\u00a0 Teacher.\u00a0 Pet.\u00a0 Grandparents.\u00a0 Islamic fundamentalists are not on their radar, and that cannot be explained.\u00a0 It is too confusing and too scary.\u00a0 Like talking about sexuality, information should be given in an age-appropriate manner, leaving room for questions.\u00a0 If the child keeps asking them, try to find ways to answer them honestly and without too much detail.\u00a0 What a child’s brain is really <\/em>asking is “am I safe?\u00a0 Is mommy safe?\u00a0 Is my turtle safe?”. The answer is always something like “mommy and daddy will always keep you safe.\u00a0 We are all here and we are all okay”.\u00a0 Can you guarantee this forever?\u00a0 Maybe, maybe not.\u00a0 But the child’s brain has no place in it to understand this level of horror, therefore detailed stories of the attacks, images, and overly emotional memorials and remembrances will only serve to scare and confuse a them.<\/p>\n

Before you know it, your child will be ready for more information. \u00a0They will ask about where you were, how you felt, and how America changed.\u00a0 And you will be able to share your experiences…but until then, keep it low-key.\u00a0 This is not about hiding or “preserving innocence” (which sounds like double-talk for lying to kids to me); this is about respecting what a young brain can handle.<\/p>\n

As adults, we may feel the need to acknowledge this day in another way. \u00a0We may need to do something: a walk, attend a special service, a stair climb, a vigil, a gathering. \u00a0I strongly encourage you to do what you need to do, while considering leaving the kids at home. \u00a0Certainly, you know your children and you know your place of worship, and if you think it will be okay, it will be okay. \u00a0But some of these specialized services will be fraught with emotion, and many tears will be shed. \u00a0All of that is good. \u00a0And if you think it would scare your child, please leave them at home. \u00a0These are times for you to reflect and sit with your own experience.<\/p>\n

Me?\u00a0 I am making Sunday a media-free day.\u00a0 I will go to church to pray for those who have died, to give thanks for the people in my life, and to be quiet and still.\u00a0 I will spend time with my family and I will not watch the images and listen to the stories.\u00a0 Those images and stories are all there, like it was yesterday and I can access them whenever I choose…as I am sure you can, too. \u00a0However you choose to remember 9\/11, the ultimate memorial to those who have died is to live free, be grateful, and show compassion to yourself and others.<\/p>\n

Be well.<\/p>\n

 <\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The 10th anniversary of 9\/11 is in two days.\u00a0 Any adult living in the U.S. knows where they were and what they were doing ten years ago; the fear, shock and sorrow is seared into our collective memory.\u00a0 Some of us were living in places directly attacked; some of us were watching TV in horror.\u00a0 Some of us lost people […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[91],"tags":[263],"class_list":["post-233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fear","tag-anxiety"],"yoast_head":"\nRemembering September 11...as a family. - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Remembering September 11...as a family. - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The 10th anniversary of 9\/11 is in two days.\u00a0 Any adult living in the U.S. knows where they were and what they were doing ten years ago; the fear, shock and sorrow is seared into our collective memory.\u00a0 Some of us were living in places directly attacked; some of us were watching TV in horror.\u00a0 Some of us lost people [...]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-09-09T18:52:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-12-04T17:52:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/\",\"name\":\"Remembering September 11...as a family. - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-09-09T18:52:53+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-12-04T17:52:19+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/e4e0d31e5da894d0dcd2c68ae07bcdc3\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Remembering September 11…as a family.\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/\",\"name\":\"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\",\"description\":\"Helping parents. Plain and simple.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/e4e0d31e5da894d0dcd2c68ae07bcdc3\",\"name\":\"Meghan Leahy\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/343fdaa7c59ef09d3d3f38b23fefc346?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/343fdaa7c59ef09d3d3f38b23fefc346?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Meghan Leahy\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Remembering September 11...as a family. - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Remembering September 11...as a family. - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","og_description":"The 10th anniversary of 9\/11 is in two days.\u00a0 Any adult living in the U.S. knows where they were and what they were doing ten years ago; the fear, shock and sorrow is seared into our collective memory.\u00a0 Some of us were living in places directly attacked; some of us were watching TV in horror.\u00a0 Some of us lost people [...]","og_url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/","og_site_name":"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","article_published_time":"2011-09-09T18:52:53+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-12-04T17:52:19+00:00","author":"Meghan Leahy","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Meghan Leahy","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/","url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/","name":"Remembering September 11...as a family. - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website"},"datePublished":"2011-09-09T18:52:53+00:00","dateModified":"2015-12-04T17:52:19+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/e4e0d31e5da894d0dcd2c68ae07bcdc3"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/fear\/remembering-september-11-as-a-family\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Remembering September 11…as a family."}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/","name":"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","description":"Helping parents. Plain and simple.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/e4e0d31e5da894d0dcd2c68ae07bcdc3","name":"Meghan Leahy","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/343fdaa7c59ef09d3d3f38b23fefc346?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/343fdaa7c59ef09d3d3f38b23fefc346?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Meghan Leahy"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/www.positivelyparenting.com"]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=233"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":507,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233\/revisions\/507"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}