{"id":5571,"date":"2021-06-30T12:26:19","date_gmt":"2021-06-30T16:26:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mlparentcoach.com\/?p=5571"},"modified":"2021-06-30T12:26:19","modified_gmt":"2021-06-30T16:26:19","slug":"a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/","title":{"rendered":"A child is heading to college after a year of being remote. How can I help?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n
\n

Q:\u00a0<\/b>Do you have any advice for how to support a teen heading to college in August after spending his senior year remote and unmotivated? I fear attending college will be an overwhelming transition after this past year, though he’s excited to go. I don’t want my fretting to cause him anxiety. Maybe a light year will have been a good thing and all will be well?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\n

A:\u00a0<\/b>Congratulations on making it this far. Our high school students have uniquely suffered during the pandemic; even the most introverted teens have felt the sting of being separated from friends, teachers and hobbies, as well as having so many transitions stripped away. Proms, typical graduation ceremonies and other markers that keep high-schoolers motivated and excited were removed, and in their place were hours of screen time and isolation. If you had a recipe for how to depress and cause anxiety in a teen, it would look a\u00a0lot like this pandemic.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

First, normalize your teen\u2019s feelings. My experience of coaching all types of families this past year has taught me that physics is very much at work in our teens: A body in motion tends to stay in motion, and a body not in motion tends to not move. I\u2019ve seen this in teens\u2019 bodies, and I\u2019ve definitely seen it in their emotions. People are deeply social, and we orient our emotional lives around our attachments and groups. Subtle facial expressions, slight physical movements and even the smallest of statements from friends and teachers serve as tremendous motivators for teens. It\u2019s so basic that we don\u2019t know how important it is until it\u2019s gone.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

Your son has not permanently lost his motivation, though. You report that he\u2019s excited to go to college (an appropriate emotion to feel), and even without a pandemic, leaving for college can be an anxiety-producing transition. One way to allay your own fears is to say something such as: \u201cIt\u2019s typical to have two minds moving during changes like this. On the one hand, you\u2019ve been alone, are used to that and may be feeling anxious that you\u2019ll forget how to socialize. On the other hand, you are so excited to get out of here, meet new people and sit in actual classrooms again!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

You don\u2019t have to offer solutions, nor do you need to cheerlead. You\u2019re simply mixing emotions and bringing words to the emotions that come up.<\/p>\n

[sc name=”Button Conflict to Cooperation Right”]<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

As for all being well, we cannot guarantee how anything will go, but you can start helping your son to understand his body and how anxiety, dread and depression feel in it. Colleges and universities should be well-versed in situational depression and anxiety, but familiarize your son with the counseling center and the services it offers. You can\u2019t force your son to talk to you (or do anything, really), but you don\u2019t want to look for the hose in the midst of the fire. A bit of preparation can go a long way.<\/p>\n

\n
\n

Because most teens are well-versed in apps, I would encourage him to find a mental wellness app that speaks to him.\u00a0D\u2019Amore Mental Health<\/a>\u2019s article titled \u201cBest Mental Health Apps For Teens During Covid\u201d is a good place to start. It\u2019s good for you to be familiar with the signs of depression and anxiety in teens, because they often don\u2019t present as sadness or worry. I like the site\u00a0Hey Sigmund<\/a>\u00a0for more information; search for its article titled \u201cDepression in Teens: The Warning Signs and How to Help Them Through.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

Finally, keep a check on your own anxiety and worries. Just like your son, you are going through a transition that may bring grief, worry, excitement and joy. Find your supports and focus on mindfulness. This will help you \u201ccatch\u201d your emotions before you spill them all over your son. Remember: The goal isn\u2019t for all to be well; the goal is to help ease your son \u2014 and yourself \u2014 into this new life. Good luck.<\/p>\n

Find this on The Washington Post<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Looking for more parenting support? Click here<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sign up for my<\/span> Newsletter here<\/span><\/a> to get this in your inbox every week!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Q:\u00a0Do you have any advice for how to support a teen heading to college in August after spending his senior year remote and unmotivated? I fear attending college will be an overwhelming transition after this past year, though he’s excited to go. I don’t want my fretting to cause him anxiety. Maybe a light year will have been a good […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5572,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,1492,348,301],"tags":[259,619,501,582,584,762,956,1012,854,592,591,1622,1311,1621,1623],"class_list":["post-5571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-parenting-in-a-pandemic","category-school","category-washington-post","tag-back-to-school","tag-child","tag-college","tag-help","tag-meghan-leahy","tag-meghan-leahy-advice","tag-meghan-leahy-parenting","tag-meghan-leahy-parenting-advice","tag-meghan-leahy-washington-post","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-tips","tag-remote-learning","tag-teen","tag-the-washington-post","tag-unmotivated"],"yoast_head":"\nA child is heading to college after a year of being remote. How can I help?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Advice for how to support a teen heading to college in August after spending his senior year remote and unmotivated?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A child is heading to college after a year of being remote. How can I help?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Advice for how to support a teen heading to college in August after spending his senior year remote and unmotivated?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-06-30T16:26:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/cmhTqKRQ-scaled.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/\",\"name\":\"A child is heading to college after a year of being remote. How can I help?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2021-06-30T16:26:19+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-06-30T16:26:19+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/74ff7f6e6196b92bb9881fbaff25225d\"},\"description\":\"Advice for how to support a teen heading to college in August after spending his senior year remote and unmotivated?\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"A child is heading to college after a year of being remote. How can I help?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/\",\"name\":\"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\",\"description\":\"Helping parents. Plain and simple.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/74ff7f6e6196b92bb9881fbaff25225d\",\"name\":\"Meghan Leahy\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4109b08a6ecac6d5c68c5d4a8c8372dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4109b08a6ecac6d5c68c5d4a8c8372dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Meghan Leahy\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"A child is heading to college after a year of being remote. How can I help?","description":"Advice for how to support a teen heading to college in August after spending his senior year remote and unmotivated?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"A child is heading to college after a year of being remote. How can I help?","og_description":"Advice for how to support a teen heading to college in August after spending his senior year remote and unmotivated?","og_url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/","og_site_name":"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","article_published_time":"2021-06-30T16:26:19+00:00","og_image":[{"width":2560,"height":2560,"url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/cmhTqKRQ-scaled.jpeg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Meghan Leahy","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Meghan Leahy","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/","url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/","name":"A child is heading to college after a year of being remote. How can I help?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website"},"datePublished":"2021-06-30T16:26:19+00:00","dateModified":"2021-06-30T16:26:19+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/74ff7f6e6196b92bb9881fbaff25225d"},"description":"Advice for how to support a teen heading to college in August after spending his senior year remote and unmotivated?","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-child-is-heading-to-college-after-a-year-of-being-remote-how-can-i-help\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"A child is heading to college after a year of being remote. How can I help?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/","name":"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach","description":"Helping parents. Plain and simple.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/74ff7f6e6196b92bb9881fbaff25225d","name":"Meghan Leahy","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4109b08a6ecac6d5c68c5d4a8c8372dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/4109b08a6ecac6d5c68c5d4a8c8372dc?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Meghan Leahy"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5571"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5571"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5571\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5574,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5571\/revisions\/5574"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5572"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}