{"id":5822,"date":"2021-12-22T12:45:07","date_gmt":"2021-12-22T17:45:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mlparentcoach.com\/?p=5822"},"modified":"2021-12-22T12:45:07","modified_gmt":"2021-12-22T17:45:07","slug":"how-to-get-young-kids-to-pick-up-their-toys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/how-to-get-young-kids-to-pick-up-their-toys\/","title":{"rendered":"How to get young kids to pick up their toys"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Q:\u00a0<\/b>Any advice for getting children to clean up their toys? Our daughters, 6 and 4, drag all the stuffed animals and art supplies all over the house. Then they whine, cry and find something else to play with when it’s time to clean up. When they do clean up, it’s pretty haphazard, and items are not put back where they belong. We’re out of carrots and we’re out of sticks. I would like them to learn the pleasures of a tidy space where you can find what you need; my husband just wants a clean floor and tidy shelves.<\/em><\/p>\n

A:\u00a0<\/b>I will admit to laughing out loud when I read, \u201cWe\u2019re out of carrots and we\u2019re out of sticks.\u201d I think every parent has felt this way! And the truth is, I really don\u2019t know a lot about what\u2019s happening here. Is this an organizational issue? Is this a communication issue? Is this a control issue? Is this a poor-timing issue? Is it all of the above? Because I don\u2019t know, though you\u2019ve given me a hint with the carrot-stick reference, let\u2019s start at the beginning.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s a Parenting\u00a0101 tip: Don\u2019t do anything in the evening. Seriously. Young children plus the evening equals commands, demands, frustration and not much of anything getting done. I am a big fan of not doing what doesn\u2019t work,\u00a0and this is an easy one. Stop expecting big cleanups in the evening. Do it earlier, and if you are going to straighten up at the\u00a0end of the day, make it bite-size.<\/p>\n

Another Parenting 101 lesson? Remember that you and your children do not share the same expectations, values or needs around items and tidying. Parenting is a lifelong apprenticeship, and this is the time where we help our children see the benefits of keeping things tidy. But it\u2019s best if you don\u2019t assume that you and your children have the same goals, because this will help you from being chronically disappointed. It isn\u2019t personal; it\u2019s just the way it is.<\/p>\n

And one more Parenting\u00a0101 tip: Children love to complete tasks and do real work when the tasks are clear (all dolls go in the basket); are preplanned and co-planned (you and your children have decided what will happen before the evening); and have a defined stopping point (the tidying ends with the dolls, no more, no less).<\/p>\n

[sc name=”Button Conflict to Cooperation Right”]<\/p>\n

To tidy in a way that is clear, preplanned, co-planned and defined, let\u2019s use the easiest strategy I know: the family meeting. On a stress-free Saturday morning, for instance, call everyone to the table, floor or wherever you\u2019d like. Then say something such as: \u201cI\u2019ve noticed there are a lot of toys out every night. I\u2019m afraid I\u2019ll step on them, break them or trip, and it\u2019s safest if they\u2019re put away. What do you think?\u201d Then wait for your children to respond. This is an opportunity for them to be creative with their solutions \u2014 and for the family to come together to meet everyone\u2019s expectations. It is more important for you to co-create small, clear and doable solutions than it is for you to conquer big, sweeping, generalized ideas. For example: \u201cAll wooden blocks go in these two baskets,\u201d rather than, \u201cPut all the toys away.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a lot of Parenting\u00a0101, isn\u2019t it? But let\u2019s also look at best practices for tidying. I reached out to my friend Rachel Rosenthal, a professional organizer, for some tips.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere should be a spot for everything,\u201d she says, which means that you, the parent, need to help create order, so tidying can occur. You need to designate and label the baskets, drawers or containers before you start tidying. (And yes, children can help with that, too.) She also suggests decluttering first. \u201cSchedule decluttering before birthdays and holidays and certain times of year, so that they are only having to organize things they use.\u201d Because children often have incomplete or broken toys, frequent decluttering will help; it\u2019s always easier to tidy when there\u2019s less stuff to begin with.<\/p>\n

Whatever you all decide, make it work for your family. You can search online for chores and cleaning tips and tricks all day long, but the system must fit your needs. As your children and home change and develop, so, too, will your cleaning needs and chores. Stay flexible, keep it lighthearted and let the routine support your larger family values. Good luck.<\/p>\n

Find this on <\/span>The Washington Post<\/span><\/i><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking for more parenting support? Click <\/span>Here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sign up for my<\/span> Newsletter here<\/span><\/a> to get this in your inbox every week!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Q:\u00a0Any advice for getting children to clean up their toys? Our daughters, 6 and 4, drag all the stuffed animals and art supplies all over the house. Then they whine, cry and find something else to play with when it’s time to clean up. When they do clean up, it’s pretty haphazard, and items are not put back where […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5825,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[125,27,301],"tags":[612,270,59,235,584,762,585,13,8,1277,592,918,278,211,10,593],"class_list":["post-5822","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-childhood-behavior","category-parenting","category-washington-post","tag-4-year-old","tag-children","tag-chores-2","tag-clean-room","tag-meghan-leahy","tag-meghan-leahy-advice","tag-on-parenting","tag-parent-coach","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-a-toddler","tag-parenting-advice","tag-raising-a-toddler","tag-toddlers","tag-toys","tag-washington-post","tag-washington-post-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nHow to get young kids to pick up their toys.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Any advice for getting children to clean up their toys? 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