{"id":5862,"date":"2022-02-16T10:12:48","date_gmt":"2022-02-16T15:12:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mlparentcoach.com\/?p=5862"},"modified":"2022-02-16T10:12:48","modified_gmt":"2022-02-16T15:12:48","slug":"what-does-it-take-for-a-child-to-succeed-at-school","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/parenting\/what-does-it-take-for-a-child-to-succeed-at-school\/","title":{"rendered":"What does it take for a child to succeed at school?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Q:\u00a0<\/b><\/i>How do I explain to parents that the success of their children often hinges on parental participation? I\u2019m asking for a friend in education.<\/i><\/p>\n

A:<\/b>\u00a0You should have seen my face when I read this question. It might best be described as \u201cyikes.\u201d My reaction isn\u2019t because you\u2019re right or wrong about parental participation; it\u2019s because there are some sweeping generalizations in this question that hurt children, teachers and parents. As I respond, please know that I still think it\u2019s a valid question, and one that is asked by parents and educators alike.<\/p>\n

The first thing we have to tackle is the idea of a child\u2019s \u201csuccess.\u201d Depending on your country, culture and family, your child\u2019s success will look vastly different. Even within the United States, we have differing ideas of what success looks like. Maybe success for a child is achieving straight A\u2019s, being an athlete or good citizen, or being kind, obedient or compassionate. I could go on and on.<\/p>\n

I am assuming that, because you\u2019re asking for a friend in education, the typical proof of a child\u2019s success is good grades and obedient behavior in school, but success could also be a child\u2019s creativity, thoughtfulness, critical thinking, athleticism, musicality, compassion, leadership or other characteristic.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s where your question comes in: You want me to tell you how to explain to families that all of these successes, all of these traits, often hinge on children\u2019s parents being involved in their schooling, homework, studying and more. The ability for a child to succeed doesn\u2019t also depend on the school environment, the teachers, the administration, the counselors, the coaches and the music or art instructors, to name a few? It just depends on parental participation? We can all agree this is patently incorrect, yes?<\/p>\n

There is no doubt that children can thrive in school when their home environment is safe, their parents are interested in their learning and there is good food and solid routines. But what about the students who have all of that and still aren\u2019t \u201csuccessful\u201d in school? And what about the students who have chaotic homes, filled with addiction, poverty and fear, yet still succeed in school? According to your theory, only the children who have parental participation have a shot at succeeding. And, well, that simply isn\u2019t true.<\/p>\n

[sc name=”Button Conflict to Cooperation Right”]<\/p>\n

I was reminded of\u00a0the fabulous book<\/a>\u00a0by W. Thomas Boyce, \u201cThe Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive<\/a>.\u201d In this book, Boyce makes a case for two different types of children: orchids and dandelions. The dandelions are resilient and seem to cope with most stressors in their lives, while the orchids are more sensitive and appear to struggle more in bad situations, but they thrive more in good situations.<\/p>\n

According to Boyce\u2019s work, it would seem as if parental participation might be helpful, but ultimately, most children are going to come out okay. Even though parental participation might be strong in a sensitive child\u2019s life, this might not lead to success. And extra support might still be needed to help sensitive children, which could come from loving teachers, compassionate counselors, skilled school specialists or school psychologists.<\/p>\n

Explaining to parents that their children\u2019s success hinges on parental participation feels incomplete, shortsighted and shame-based. I would instead use a pie chart, and add as many slices as you need. You could have parental support and participation, teachers, administration, food\/sleep\/exercise, in-school and out-of-school routines, and playtime. This way, everyone has a vested interest in helping children reach their full potential, whatever that may be.<\/p>\n

When communities come together, that participation looks different for various parents. The single parent who was diagnosed with cancer? They need more support, because their ability to engage has been compromised. The family with the new baby? They may need additional help. The teacher who\u2019s out with a sick parent? Students\u2019 parents can participate more to support that teacher.<\/p>\n

I cannot tell you how to explain to parents that their participation is what their children\u2019s success hinges upon, because it isn\u2019t true. It shames parents and undermines teachers. Parents are important, but everyone owns a piece of the pie. Explain that to the parents and the school community, and watch children\u2019s success grow. Good luck.<\/p>\n

Find this on <\/span>The Washington Post<\/span><\/i><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Looking for more parenting support? Click <\/span>Here<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sign up for my<\/span> Newsletter here<\/span><\/a> to get this in your inbox every week!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Q:\u00a0How do I explain to parents that the success of their children often hinges on parental participation? I\u2019m asking for a friend in education. A:\u00a0You should have seen my face when I read this question. It might best be described as \u201cyikes.\u201d My reaction isn\u2019t because you\u2019re right or wrong about parental participation; it\u2019s because there are some sweeping […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":5864,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,348,301],"tags":[584,762,585,13,1640,260,1639,309,10,593,972],"class_list":["post-5862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-school","category-washington-post","tag-meghan-leahy","tag-meghan-leahy-advice","tag-on-parenting","tag-parent-coach","tag-pressure","tag-school","tag-success","tag-teachers","tag-washington-post","tag-washington-post-parenting","tag-what-to-do-about-grades"],"yoast_head":"\nWhat does it take for a child to succeed at school?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do I explain to parents that the success of their children often hinges on parental participation? 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