{"id":6558,"date":"2023-02-15T22:18:34","date_gmt":"2023-02-16T03:18:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mlparentcoach.com\/?p=6558"},"modified":"2023-02-15T22:18:34","modified_gmt":"2023-02-16T03:18:34","slug":"my-child-wants-to-quit-piano-lessons-do-i-let-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/my-child-wants-to-quit-piano-lessons-do-i-let-her\/","title":{"rendered":"My child wants to quit piano lessons. Do I let her?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Q: <\/b><\/i>My 10-year-old started music lessons as a toddler and has been playing the piano for the past few years. She has (or, rather, was taught to have) a good ear for music. We expect 20 minutes of practice, six days per week, with one 30-minute lesson.<\/i><\/p>\n

Every practice is a struggle; she will go out of her way to avoid doing it. We\u2019ve seen tears, screams, sudden emergencies and a magical engrossment in something she believes I find more important than practice. (She\u2019s smart, so think picking up a college chemistry book.)<\/i><\/p>\n

Although I would be fine with her quitting piano, I feel as if it\u2019s important to be developing\/exploring skills outside of school. She\u2019s welcome to switch instruments or move to another hobby, but she has to prove she will stick with it before quitting piano (only for a month or so).<\/i><\/p>\n

She has no homework (her school is project-based), and I\u2019m trying to avoid the hours of screen time every day after school. I don\u2019t know what to do. Am I being too hard on her? A few chores per week and a short daily piano practice don\u2019t seem like the end of the world, but maybe I\u2019m not seeing the whole picture?<\/i><\/p>\n

A: <\/b>I can virtually guarantee that almost every parent who is reading this is nodding along. Playing piano, participating in soccer, drawing, swimming, you name it: Many children reach a point where what they started doing as toddlers no longer brings them joy. Serious avoidance, negotiations and tantrums ensue, creating total misery in the house and between the parent and child. Not to mention the waste of money and time.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to sidestep discussing what you expect right now and whether it\u2019s reasonable (20 minutes a day, six days a week), because we have some bigger fish to fry. Let\u2019s take a look at the developmental norms of a 10-year-old girl. (I make this assumption based on your pronoun use.) A typical 10-year-old girl may be still pretty young (physically), or she may be getting ready to have her period and starting those hormones.<\/p>\n

Although girls tend to reach puberty more quickly than boys, every girl is different, and this development brings a heightened awareness of her peers, privacy and autonomy. Your daughter is meant to have her own thoughts, opinions and wishes. We don\u2019t stop providing boundaries and rules for 10-year-olds, but we do recognize that it is their developmental work to find their own voice. To force, push and expect that our children won\u2019t change or will want to do what they\u2019ve always done is not reasonable, nor is it […]<\/p>\n

View the full article in The Washington Post<\/a><\/p>\n

Looking for more parenting support? Click Here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Sign up for my Newsletter here<\/a> to get this in your inbox every week!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Q: My 10-year-old started music lessons as a toddler and has been playing the piano for the past few years. She has (or, rather, was taught to have) a good ear for music. We expect 20 minutes of practice, six days per week, with one 30-minute lesson. Every practice is a struggle; she will go out of her way to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":6560,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,35,301],"tags":[281,231,270,273,683,1108,584,762,585,13,8,592,591,1704,1048,10,593],"class_list":["post-6558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-routines","category-washington-post","tag-activities","tag-after-school-activities","tag-children","tag-development","tag-developmental-stages","tag-kids-and-extracurricultar-activities","tag-meghan-leahy","tag-meghan-leahy-advice","tag-on-parenting","tag-parent-coach","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-tips","tag-piano-lessons","tag-raising-girls","tag-washington-post","tag-washington-post-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nMy child wants to quit piano lessons. 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