{"id":6634,"date":"2023-04-26T21:57:28","date_gmt":"2023-04-27T01:57:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mlparentcoach.com\/?p=6634"},"modified":"2023-04-26T21:57:28","modified_gmt":"2023-04-27T01:57:28","slug":"teen-daughter-has-goals-but-wont-take-action","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/teen-daughter-has-goals-but-wont-take-action\/","title":{"rendered":"Teen daughter has goals, but won\u2019t take action"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"row\">\n<div class=\"large-12 columns entry-content__output non-vc-entry\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><i><b>Q:&nbsp;<\/b><\/i><i>My high school teen seems stuck. She has goals but doesn\u2019t make progress and spends a lot of time in bed. If I try to discuss it with her, she gets angry. She simultaneously doesn\u2019t want my interference and won\u2019t do certain things unless I \u201chelp\u201d her. She has a therapist and likes her sessions but I don\u2019t see much behavioral change. She says she wants a job, a driver\u2019s license and hobbies but only talks about them and takes little action. What is my role here? Stay out of it and let the chips fall where they may? Is there anything non-offensive I can do to nudge her along?<\/i><\/p>\n<p><b>A:&nbsp;<\/b>This sounds exhausting for you and your teen. When I hear these symptoms, my mind runs through a couple of questions:<\/p>\n<ul class=\"font--article-body font-copy gray-darkest mt-0 mr-lg ml-lg mb-md list\">\n<li class=\"pb-xs\">Has there been a recent transition or event that would explain this withdrawn behavior?<\/li>\n<li class=\"pb-xs\">How have her friendships, school performance and\/or hobbies changed?<\/li>\n<li class=\"pb-xs\">How long has this behavior been going on, and what are the patterns around it? For instance, is it worse in the morning or evening?<\/li>\n<li class=\"pb-xs\">How is her eating, sleep and exercise?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As you assemble the answers to these questions, a thorough check up is required to be sure that she is physically well. A full blood panel should be taken as there are many biological issues that affect energy and mood.<\/p>\n<p>Next I would call a meeting with her therapist. Without breaking confidentiality, I would assess where your daughter is in the therapy. Are they working toward goals, and is there an improvement or growth happening in the sessions? Is there a need for a psychiatrist? I am not suggesting medication, but if your teen has no other issues other than mood challenges, a small dose of medication can help her benefit from therapy. Again, I\u2019m putting options on the table.<\/p>\n<p>The fact that she is seeing a therapist and wants to drive, work and have hobbies is wonderful. As a parent coach, I\u2019m always asking, \u201cDoes the child want or have the aspiration to move toward goals?\u201d If the answer is yes, then the obstacle is breaking down the path to get there. Executive functioning issues could be making it difficult to break down big goals into small steps and manage those steps. Depression could be causing overwhelm to prohibit action. Anxiety could be influencing the brain to bounce from real or perceived problems. Either way, [&#8230;]<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"fasc-button fasc-size-medium fasc-type-glossy fasc-rounded-medium\" style=\"background-color: #7fa7a9; color: #ffffff;\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/parenting\/2023\/04\/26\/teen-daughter-no-motivation\/\" rel=\"noopener\">View this full article on The Washington Post<\/a><\/p>\n<p data-qa=\"drop-cap-letter\" data-el=\"text\">Looking for more parenting support? Click&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/meghanleahyparentcoach.vipmembervault.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Here<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p data-qa=\"drop-cap-letter\" data-el=\"text\">Sign up for my<a href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/new\/new\/newsletter-signup\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">&nbsp;Newsletter here<\/a>&nbsp;to get this in your inbox every week!<\/p>\n<div data-qa=\"article-body\">&nbsp;<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; Q:&nbsp;My high school teen seems stuck. She has goals but doesn\u2019t make progress and spends a lot of time in bed. If I try to discuss it with her, she gets angry. She simultaneously doesn\u2019t want my interference and won\u2019t do certain things unless I \u201chelp\u201d her. She has a therapist and likes her sessions but I don\u2019t see [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":6641,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[125,27,35,301],"tags":[322,447,1549,491,136,1712,1711,585,13,8,592,591,260,450,161,382,10,593],"class_list":["post-6634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-childhood-behavior","category-parenting","category-routines","category-washington-post","tag-behavior","tag-daughters","tag-depressed-teens","tag-depression","tag-frustration","tag-goal-setting","tag-goals","tag-on-parenting","tag-parent-coach","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-tips","tag-school","tag-separation-anxiety","tag-teens","tag-tweens","tag-washington-post","tag-washington-post-parenting"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Teen daughter has goals, but won\u2019t take action<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My high school teen seems stuck. 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