{"id":6718,"date":"2023-05-31T21:36:58","date_gmt":"2023-06-01T01:36:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mlparentcoach.com\/?p=6718"},"modified":"2023-06-01T19:29:23","modified_gmt":"2023-06-01T23:29:23","slug":"a-sons-friend-is-frosty-toward-the-parents-do-they-ignore-this","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/a-sons-friend-is-frosty-toward-the-parents-do-they-ignore-this\/","title":{"rendered":"A son\u2019s friend is frosty toward the parents. Do they ignore this?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Q: <\/b><\/i>My middle school son\u2019s friends are friendly and polite, but over the past year one friend has gotten frosty toward us (he is fine with our son). He doesn\u2019t acknowledge us when we say hi or say thank you for rides. At first it made our son uncomfortable on our behalf. Now he gets defensive and annoyed at us for noticing it. Do we try to ignore this friend\u2019s behavior? (It might be that I\u2019m worried our son is starting to act like this friend.)<\/i><\/p>\n

A: <\/b>Middle-schoolers can become surly for all kinds of reasons, most of which we will never fully understand. Growing up, no matter how disenchanted and out of control I was becoming, I was never rude to another parent. I was raised to \u201crespect my elders,\u201d and while that can appear to be the gold standard, I\u2019m not so sure anymore. Of course, basic manners are lovely, but there is something to be said for not pretending.<\/p>\n

In any case, we don\u2019t know why this child has become frosty to you. Are you annoying? I am asking this with lots of love, but do you pry or try to act too cool or ask provocative questions? Even if you do all of that, no one should be rude to you, but it might explain some of the frostiness.<\/p>\n

But I am betting that this friend\u2019s rudeness has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is clear your son knows this is odd or out of line. As best as you can, separate the behavior from this boy. Because you don\u2019t know (or don\u2019t mention) any aspect of his personal life, there are a whole host of reasons that he may have become more withdrawn. As you note, he isn\u2019t actually rude to your face as much as he has become quiet. So let\u2019s extend some love to this young man.<\/p>\n

To begin, don\u2019t take the silence personally. When he enters the car, give him a smile or a nod or simply, \u201cNice to see you, Will\u201d and keep it moving. You don\u2019t need to make it awkward or expect anything back; you\u2019re the adult. He isn\u2019t your equal, so let\u2019s not treat him like one.<\/p>\n

Next, take the kids for pizza or ice cream and just observe the dynamics. Is your son getting rude or surly? Or is he still the young man you know? Worrying about the influence of others is totally reasonable and shouldn\u2019t be ignored, but you need to […]<\/p>\n

View this full article on The Washington Post<\/a><\/p>\n

Looking for more parenting support? Click Here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Sign up for my Newsletter here<\/a> to get this in your inbox every week!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Q: My middle school son\u2019s friends are friendly and polite, but over the past year one friend has gotten frosty toward us (he is fine with our son). He doesn\u2019t acknowledge us when we say hi or say thank you for rides. At first it made our son uncomfortable on our behalf. Now he gets defensive and annoyed at us […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":6721,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[125,27,301],"tags":[322,725,270,443,305,180,728,584,762,1327,277,585,13,8,592,591,382,632,10,593],"class_list":["post-6718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-childhood-behavior","category-parenting","category-washington-post","tag-behavior","tag-child-and-friendships","tag-children","tag-connection","tag-friendship","tag-friendships","tag-how-to-navigate-friendships","tag-meghan-leahy","tag-meghan-leahy-advice","tag-middle-school","tag-misbehavior","tag-on-parenting","tag-parent-coach","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-tips","tag-tweens","tag-tweens-and-friends","tag-washington-post","tag-washington-post-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nA son\u2019s friend is frosty toward the parents. 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