{"id":7080,"date":"2023-09-06T21:42:34","date_gmt":"2023-09-07T01:42:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mlparentcoach.com\/?p=7080"},"modified":"2023-09-06T21:42:34","modified_gmt":"2023-09-07T01:42:34","slug":"our-childs-preschool-teacher-espouses-religious-views-what-can-we-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/our-childs-preschool-teacher-espouses-religious-views-what-can-we-do\/","title":{"rendered":"Our child\u2019s preschool teacher espouses religious views. What can we do?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Q: <\/b><\/i>We are a secular family, burdened by a history of one parent having suffered abuse as a child in the name of being a good \u201creligious\u201d family. Our 4-year-old is at a private preschool that is supposed to be secular, but my kid keeps coming home with lessons from a new teacher about a specific religion, including some teachings that are antithetical to our values (e.g., valuing boys more than girls). I\u2019ve tried to coach my kid to say things like \u201cI know you believe that, but not everyone believes that\u201d and \u201cCan we talk about something else?\u201d but I\u2019m not sure that\u2019s working \u2014 this is a 4-year-old, after all. They\u2019re not really able to redirect a teacher\u2019s intended lesson and also not the best at distinguishing between believing a teacher on something like how plants grow or the importance of sharing vs. religious teachings. Child care is scarce and we loved this place before this started. What are we supposed to do?<\/i><\/p>\n

A: <\/b>You\u2019re in a bit of a pickle, huh? It is frustrating when a school states it is secular and then a teacher goes against this stance. I would like to say it is rare, but it is not unheard of to find stories of teachers, administrators and other school personnel who find ways to discreetly or openly speak on religious issues in schools and facilities where such issues are not part of the curriculum. All this to say: You are not alone, and it will probably happen again.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s start with the easiest answer here (for me). When it comes to coaching your 4-year-old in their responses to teachers, we can pretty much drop that for now. Developmentally, your child isn\u2019t old enough to remember all of your talking points and then regurgitate them to the teacher at the exact time they are meant to. This is difficult for most adults! Also, the last thing most preschoolers want to do is go against their teacher. Young children are deeply attached to the adults in their lives, and trying to get your child to shut down their teacher risks losing an important relationship. Not to mention, while the religious trauma (that is awful, I am sorry) and choice of values are yours, these values are still getting imprinted on your child. A 4-year-old is aware of and interested in death, but God, god or just life on Earth (or elsewhere) may still be a bit out of their wheelhouse, and so your child cannot fight back against the teacher with values that are still a bit murky for them.<\/p>\n

So, stop coaching them and instead ask your child how those religious stories make them feel. Maybe they think they are cool or weird or funny or dumb, or maybe they don\u2019t like that the teacher is telling them these stories. In any case, by carefully listening, you will get a better sense of how your child feels about what is happening, rather than staying in anger and reaction. When your child brings up the \u201cboys are better than girls\u201d idea, what do you want to say? You could say, \u201cWell, some people may believe that, but in this house, we value every human to be equal, no matter how they show up.\u201d You can fill your house with books<\/a> that promote your values (equality being chief among them), and while it is the teacher\u2019s right to believe their own ideas, your family sees it differently. Remember, […]<\/p>\n

View this full article on The Washington Post<\/a><\/p>\n

Looking for more parenting support? Click Here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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  Q: We are a secular family, burdened by a history of one parent having suffered abuse as a child in the name of being a good \u201creligious\u201d family. Our 4-year-old is at a private preschool that is supposed to be secular, but my kid keeps coming home with lessons from a new teacher about a specific religion, including some teachings […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":6482,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,348,301],"tags":[259,628,584,762,585,13,8,592,591,652,260,973,309,10,593],"class_list":["post-7080","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","category-school","category-washington-post","tag-back-to-school","tag-family","tag-meghan-leahy","tag-meghan-leahy-advice","tag-on-parenting","tag-parent-coach","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-tips","tag-religion-and-kids","tag-school","tag-talking-to-teacher","tag-teachers","tag-washington-post","tag-washington-post-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nOur child\u2019s preschool teacher espouses religious views.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Our 4-year-old is at a private preschool that is supposed to be secular, but keeps coming home with teachings that are antithetical to our values.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/our-childs-preschool-teacher-espouses-religious-views-what-can-we-do\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Our child\u2019s preschool teacher espouses religious views.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Our 4-year-old is at a private preschool that is supposed to be secular, but keeps coming home with teachings that are antithetical to our values.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/our-childs-preschool-teacher-espouses-religious-views-what-can-we-do\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Meghan Leahy Parent Coach\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-09-07T01:42:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/12\/00000culEPnoc-scaled.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Meghan Leahy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/our-childs-preschool-teacher-espouses-religious-views-what-can-we-do\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/our-childs-preschool-teacher-espouses-religious-views-what-can-we-do\/\",\"name\":\"Our child\u2019s preschool teacher espouses religious views.\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2023-09-07T01:42:34+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-09-07T01:42:34+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/#\/schema\/person\/74ff7f6e6196b92bb9881fbaff25225d\"},\"description\":\"Our 4-year-old is at a private preschool that is supposed to be secular, but keeps coming home with teachings that are antithetical to our values.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/our-childs-preschool-teacher-espouses-religious-views-what-can-we-do\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/our-childs-preschool-teacher-espouses-religious-views-what-can-we-do\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/our-childs-preschool-teacher-espouses-religious-views-what-can-we-do\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Our child\u2019s preschool teacher espouses religious views. 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