{"id":7260,"date":"2023-11-01T21:00:40","date_gmt":"2023-11-02T01:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.mlparentcoach.com\/?p=7260"},"modified":"2023-11-01T21:00:40","modified_gmt":"2023-11-02T01:00:40","slug":"my-teen-son-is-having-a-hard-time-making-friends-how-can-i-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mlparentcoach.com\/new\/washington-post\/my-teen-son-is-having-a-hard-time-making-friends-how-can-i-help\/","title":{"rendered":"My teen son is having a hard time making friends. How can I help?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Q: <\/b><\/i>How do you help a teen boy make friends? It kills me, but I feel as if my son, who is a sophomore in high school, doesn\u2019t have a good group like he did when he was younger. I sort of blame the pandemic, because they all lost some good years of learning how to be social with peers. I know he\u2019s not happy about it, but he just seems stuck. When I ask other friends, they say the same things (especially those with sons). What advice do you have?<\/i><\/p>\n

A: <\/b>My middle child was headed into high school after two years at home because of the pandemic. Needless to say, she felt pretty detached from friends and social groups, and the activities she loved most (art and reading) were mostly solitary. I saw the signs pretty clearly, and we began having painful and consistent meetings focused on the need for her to join groups and move her body.<\/p>\n

Under much duress, she agreed to join ultimate Frisbee. The terms were: She had to join, stay in it for at least six to eight weeks, and give her sort-of best. She was deeply unhappy about it, and I had to not take her eye rolls, sighs, complaints and outright rudeness personally. To her credit, she did it, and, before you think this is a story about how she fell in love with ultimate, she promptly quit as soon as she could. Did she even develop long-lasting friendships with anyone on the team? Nope.<\/p>\n

So what was the win here?<\/p>\n

She had a destination, a goal, a group of people to be accountable to and some awesome coaches, and she moved her body. We got another friend to join the team with her. She kept her word and had to be very brave. She fought through serious negative thoughts and self-doubt, and, although no major friendships were made, she began to recognize people in the hallways of a huge school. Other kids said hi, and she said hi back. She was essentially strengthening the muscles needed to make friends.<\/p>\n

Here is what I want to highlight: Having her join something was not one conversation, and the process wasn\u2019t filled with ease, gratitude and joy. I was riddled with self-doubt and exhaustion. (Am I pushing too hard? Should I leave her alone?) I had hoped she would see the value of joining a group, but she never really did. She may admit now that […]<\/p>\n

View this full article on The Washington Post<\/a><\/p>\n

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  Q: How do you help a teen boy make friends? It kills me, but I feel as if my son, who is a sophomore in high school, doesn\u2019t have a good group like he did when he was younger. I sort of blame the pandemic, because they all lost some good years of learning how to be social with peers. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":7262,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[125,27,348,301],"tags":[725,443,273,1383,630,1379,584,762,585,13,8,592,1110,994,591,161,382,10,593],"class_list":["post-7260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-childhood-behavior","category-parenting","category-school","category-washington-post","tag-child-and-friendships","tag-connection","tag-development","tag-highschool-friendships","tag-how-to-make-friends","tag-making-friends","tag-meghan-leahy","tag-meghan-leahy-advice","tag-on-parenting","tag-parent-coach","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-advice","tag-parenting-preteens","tag-parenting-teens","tag-parenting-tips","tag-teens","tag-tweens","tag-washington-post","tag-washington-post-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nMy teen son is having a hard time making friends. 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