Then I realized that, “Shit, I should do something about this This is why people hire me.” Huh.
So, I had a cup of coffee and thought.
The word that appeared was EXPECTATIONS. (Which is, yes, how things happen to me. They appear. Words. Images. People. My dead father-in-law comes to me when I meditate. Crazy? Maybe, but you are already reading this, so hang in…)
I often assume (is there anything more dangerous in parenting?) that my children know what I am thinking and wanting from them.
Yeah…ummm, they don’t. I needed to make it explicit. Again.
And I have been quite busy helping other people have great meals with their kids…and guess what? I have been blowing off my own family.
Oh sure, we all sit together and have a cursory dinner. “What are you grateful for?” Blah blah blah. I have been checking it off the list, half-in (which means half-out), and frankly, making some pretty shitty dinners. Who wants to celebrate Kraft? Not me. Not even my kids.
So, the letter. The letter was about setting about some expectations for them. Sure.
It was really for ME.
“Hey, kids. Mom is going to make you a real dinner. It is going to have antioxidants and vitamins and it cooked in way that demonstrates care and skill!”
“Hey kids, I want you to know I am taking this seriously. And yes, it is $22 a pound, but that is not why I care. I am taking it seriously because I have forgotten to show up for dinner properly.”
The nine year old declared dinner, “Not disgusting.”
The six year old took a bite and dramatically spit into the trash (I appreciated the theatrical nature of her disapproval).
The almost three year old only wanted to know what her father was going to do. When he ate it with gusto, she decided to eat it with tacit acquiescence.
The lovely outcome? NO ONE ASKED ME FOR WHEATIES.
They always ask for Wheaties with bananas when they don’t want whatever is served for dinner.
The answer is always no, unless I am too fucking tired to hear it.
So, everyone sat there for about ten good minutes. Everyone ate the rice and vegetables, and picked at the fish.
Success.
Do you want to work with me? Click here for a free 20 minute consult. 🙂
My kids used to eat everything I was very proactive about having them eat what my husband and I ate at very young age. I never introduced “Kid food” that worked very well for me till they went to school. Then even teacher would say “I hate brusselsprouts.” Now I have some what picky kids till we go out to a nice restaurant then they what the most expensive dish on the menu. Plus they have no fear of asking it just the way they want it.
A huge win if you ask me. I’m looking forward to a win like that – and with Salmon no less!
Good for you! My kids love the idea of Salmon sometimes they eat it sometimes they don’t. I can never figure out why they eat a dish one time and not the other, but I keep making things mostly because I like to eat good things and I like the time in the kitchen with my husband. Our kids watch T.V. and we cook. It is a nice way to take it easy after a long day.
Good for you! My kids love the idea of Salmon sometimes they eat it sometimes they don’t. I can never figure out why they eat a dish one time and not the other, but I keep making things mostly because I like to eat good things and I like the time in the kitchen with my husband. Our kids watch T.V. and we cook. It is a nice way to take it easy after a long day. oh and pick me pick me.
I love this. Expectations are good!
have to admire my persistance with this online class if not my follow-through, right?!
Pingback: Updates in MLPC World! - Meghan Leahy Parent Coach